By Erica Black – Australia’s Author and Dating Mentor For Men
What Is The Number One Mistake You MUST Avoid??
Do you know what frustrates women the most on a first date? It’s so simple, you’ll kick yourself for getting it wrong, and it’s so important to GET RIGHT that—if you don’t—every woman you try dating will never want to date you again!
And it’s actually REALLY EASY to fix. Let me tell you how …
I consider myself to be a pretty liberal girl and—believe me—if I asked a guy out (which I’ve done many times, by the way), I was fully focused on making sure he would enjoy what I’d planned. And I always chose something that allowed us to get to know each other more.
Problem is, I can count on one hand how few guys actually put some effort into planning a first date, even though THEY were the ones who’d asked ME out.
So you want to make a great impression with a woman from your very first date? Then give yourself a head start by understanding what she wants from you …
Women hate it when men are indecisive.
Avoid losing her interest by understanding what she’s thinking: “Indecisive men don’t plan … and no planning probably means no self-confidence.”
Here’s a little secret:
PLANNING A DATE IS EXACTLY WHAT GIRLS WANT GUYS TO DO!
How do I know this?
Behavioural studies show that—outwardly—modern women like to think of themselves as independent. Don’t let that daunt you, guys, because underneath every motivated, confident women you will find the girl who loves being nurtured. She wants to know she is special in her man’s eyes, and she enjoys it when he plans an experience that will delight her, entertain her and show he cares.
A GIRL WILL SEE YOU AS A “GUY WITH POTENTIAL” IF YOU SHOW HER YOU HAVE PUT SOME EFFORT INTO PLANNING A GOOD TIME FOR GETTING TO KNOW HER.
Impress her on the first date and she’ll definitely be wanting more: more dates … more good times with YOU!
If you fail to plan, she will think this instead:
- “What the–? Am I just the next girl he’s ticking off his to-date list?
- “Hmm. His laziness towards arranging anything = lazy at life, lazy partner, lazy husband … Is this my miserable future?!
- “If this guy is a lame date, I bet he’s lame in bed. No thanks!”
Yep—we girls really do think about the potential details that much.
SO: DON’T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF ASKING A WOMAN ON A DATE, AND THEN WIMP OUT BY SAYING, “WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO?”
Sure—you think you’re being polite and letting her choose—right? WRONG. We don’t like it. So—NO—don’t do it.
But, here’s the good news:
if you are guy reading this, then you are READY TO PUT IN THE RIGHT KIND OF EFFORT because:
- You can see that not planning a date is pathetic
- You want to know how to REALLY impress her
So, I’m going to help you. I can tell you exactly:
- What a girl wants a guy to do
- How it will impress her
- Why she starts thinking about getting to know you more, rather running the other way
DON’T TRY TO OVER-IMPRESS
Of course, you want to save things for later (2nd, 3rd, 4th, mores dates). But..
The real reason to hold back a little right now is because if you go overboard on a first date, it makes a girl feel like she “owes” you.
You don’t want a pity date because she feels bad that you went all out on a candlelit five-course dinner followed by a gondola ride under the stars. If the chemistry didn’t spark (even with all these trimmings), and you’re stuck with each other for a gruelling second date, you’ll both feel like you’re stuck in the House of Horrors. And no-one bounces back to dating fun after a bad date. So—don’t set yourself up to fail. Keep it playful. Make it an activity where you feel confident. That way it will be easy to take care of her, show her a good time, and—yes—make a good impression!
GET AN IDEA OF WHAT SHE IS INTO
(If you’ve met online this should be a no-brainer) and mesh it with something that you like. If she likes the outdoors and you like car-racing, plan a picnic. Get some fresh batteries in your remote control car (even better if you’ve got two, so you can teach her how to race) … If she likes art and you like travelling, plan a Sunday afternoon drive to some nearby artist studios … If she likes designing, and you like bargain-hunting, check out a collectibles or furniture auction. You don’t have to bid. Just pretend you’ve got money and tell each other what with it you’ve do if you DID buy something. Make it fresh. Avoid clichés as much as possible.
These are all really good talking points. You make her the focus by being interested in her opinion. Aim for having fun—together.
HAVE A BACK-UP PLAN
Obviously, rain will ruin a picnic. Too much traffic will make driving arduous and boring. A noisy crowd will make talking impossible. My book “1st Date” has plenty more ideas for fun dates, no matter what mood you want to create. Whatever you try, choose something that allows you to talk and flirt.
Don’t set up a situation where you risk missing the train, or being late for a performance, or you’ve got to queue (because you didn’t get tickets in advance). Plan. Do as much as you can beforehand. Pave the way for a smooth event, so that when you ARE in her company, you can help HER relax, and just have a good time.
LET HER KNOW
Tell her where you are taking her. No woman wants to wonder if this seemingly nice guy is actually a serial killer. She’s got to feel confident in you. You can tell her in an entertaining way; just give her the information so she can relax. It’s too early to surprise her with a back-stage pass to her favourite band. Don’t assume she’d love a helicopter ride (when you haven’t checked if she has a fear of flying). Make it easy on yourself as well, so you don’t feel overwhelmed with the burden of “making this date work”. The best choice to begin with is a combination of simple, fun and direct.
DON’T GO TO THE MOVIES!
If you are feeling nervous about making great conversation, don’t think a movie will fill the gap for you. You can save that for a later date, when you know each other’s tastes and humour. But—be warned—if you make your first date a movie outing, you’ll miss out on the three essential points for creating chemistry:
- Sight: she’ll be looking at that handsome star, and not you
- Touch: there’s NO WAY it’s appropriate for you to put your arm around her or hold hands when you’ve barely had a conversation
- Talking: she’ll be listening to all the great lines that some writer spent months perfecting (Do you really want to compete with that on your first date?)
Your first date should be fun, it should be memorable, and most importantly—
It should create chemistry! You can do that by having the confidence to create easy conversation.
Remember that a woman—the kind of woman you want to date—a woman who is intelligent, knows what she wants, and is excited about meeting a man who knows what HE wants—that woman’s attraction begins in the mind. She responds to mental stimulation, to fun ideas, to conversation that creates a unique connection with her.
This is not as daunting as it seems. You can do it.
We girls WANT you to SUCCEED!!!
If you are ready to leap into a first date and try it out—have fun with it! If you want more details on how to get these essential points right, so you never feel dumped and alone again, then check out my eCourse (designed especially for men): “Get into the SAC”.
It’s all about getting that essential Sex Appeal and Confidence. You can try it for just $1 on a 7-day risk-free trial.
Visit our website: www.1stdate.com.au
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